The ducks have conquered the sidewalk
The ducks have conquered the grass
The ducks have conquered the sidewalk
New England spring kiss my @$$!

Bring back, bring back
Bring back the sunshine to me, to me
Bring back, bring back
Bring back the sunshine to me

*In high pitched Chipmunk voice*

The snow is falling in droves
The snow is falling in heaps
The snow is falling in droves
Let me just go back to sleep!

*Back to normal voice*

Bring back, bring back
Bring back the sunshine to me, to me
Bring back, bring back
Bring back the sunshine to me

The wind has taken the oak tree
Taken Lynn and Holyoke too
The wind has taken the oak tree
And just sucked me straight up the flue!

Bring back, bring back
Bring back the sunshine to me, to me
Bring back, bring back
Bring back the sunshine to me

The water is up to the window
The water is up to my bed
The water is up to the window
The water is over my he-*glub, blub*

Because there hasn't been any! The leaves finally turned, but it's too wet to go outside and look at them. Looking at colored foliage in bright sunlight is pretty, looking at colored foliage in the rain is depressing.

I figured the real reason my mother has such problems with diets. Because no matter how little she eats, when she does eat, she heads straight for whatever has the most calories, fat and sodium that's in the fridge. Even after I go out of my way to prepare fairly healthy meals for her (well, her and my dad, who I actually like), she still will somehow find a box of Chinese take-out that I bought a week ago. And finish off three-quarters of it by herself. And then top it off with a double handful of chocolate! I would have noticed earlier, but frankly I don't care enough. Next time she tries to drag to one of her boring, prayer parties, I'm going to threaten to tell all her friends about her binge eating habits. Or about her stealing from the clothes drive for the hurricane victims.

Oh, and to make up for all the venom I just wrote, here's another 30_kisses fic.

( #16 Invincible, Unrivaled )

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.